One way to manifest humility is by being vulnerable. In bible, one of our calling is to be vulnerable, which most often we are unwilling to do. Vulnerability is about transparency, openness, sacrifice and selflessness. Most often, we thought to be anything but vulnerable. That is to say, we have been thought how not to answer questions openly and honestly; try not to admit that we do not have the right answer and not to let anyone look like smarter than we are. As a consequence, this will make people not to like us and we also do not like ourselves as much . This makes our life hard and stinky.
Vulnerability, being totally naked and honest, is liberating. It cultivate an environment of acceptance, relatedness and loyalty.
Definition of vulnerability, according to Webster;
- Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
- Open to attack or damage
- Liable to increase penalties but entitled to increase bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge.
The third definition is easily to ignore, especially if we are not familiar with card game. But if you look closely into it, it is interesting definition. That is actually the definition we are going to look into. There is massive reward in being vulnerable in life. there is not guarantee that you will get the rewards. There is a huge probability of suffering in vulnerability. The reason most people do not embrace vulnerability is that because it is the exact opposite of the predominant notion of our society today, which is avoid suffering at all cost. Pain, suffering, sacrifices and discomfort are so counter cultural. In our generation, the more you get older, the more you would understand how counter cultural it feels to follow Jesus Christ. Our culture always thought us to be tough and to make ourselves always strong. However, there is something attractive about people who are humble, and vulnerability is one of the manifestation.
The three fears that keeps us from being vulnerable:
- fear of being rejected.
Jesus got rejected for being vulnerable. Only three people went to his funeral. if we want to draw people to us, we have to exercise the willingness of being rejected. We have to be willing to enter the danger, that is to say, being honest what our feelings and share our thoughts honestly. Instead talking terminal niceness out of fear of rejection, we have to voice truth in love and talking the kind truth both about ourselves and other person as well. You may not always get rewarded for it, but we should do it anyway. Apostle Paul told the Galatians the truth because he was God pleaser, not people pleaser. Gal 1:10
- fear of being embarrassed.
When we serve others, we have to do things that could embarrass us. We have to ask question and make suggestions that we don’t know. As leaders or ministers, we have to have a boldness to say “I do not know that”. When people know that we are more interested in helping them than protecting the relationship, they will invite us in to their life. But if they know that we are editing ourselves to manage our self-image, we will not inspire them and we will not build trust with them. We have to have the boldness to celebrate our mistakes since we will make them all the time. Instead of not admit our mistakes, we should be honest about them so that people would see us. When we acknowledge our humanity, it is attractive, people would listen to us, and will want to be around us.
- Fear of feeling inferior.
Out of pride, no one want to feel inferior and people look down at us. The moment we become willing to be vulnerable, it is guaranteed that some people will look at us as inferior once they know our flaws and weaknesses. However, we have to know that when we take the lower position, it is so powerful to attract other. Look at Jesus, as powerful and miracle working man as he was, he lowered himself and washed his disciples feet to set an example. Jesus Christ said, the son of God came to serve, not to be served. When we lower ourselves to do the dirty work, we are showing those people how much we honor them. Then people will be do whatever we ask them to since we are setting ourselves as an example.